Organising a gift exchange
Almost everything that goes wrong in a gift exchange was decided — or left undecided — before anybody drew a name. These are the decisions, in the order they matter.
Setting a budget everyone is comfortable with
The budget is the one decision that can quietly exclude somebody. How to pick the number, how to say it, and why a range beats a ceiling.
Somebody forgot their gift: what to do on the day
It happens in almost every group. Three ways to handle a missing gift without humiliating anyone, and what to change so it does not happen again.
Draw names at Thanksgiving, exchange gifts at Christmas
The whole family is in one room in late November and scattered by mid-December. Here is the calendar that uses that, and the four minutes at dessert it takes.
What to write when you invite a group to a Secret Santa
The invitation decides how many people take part and how many questions you answer afterwards. Four things it must contain, three templates, and the sentence that kills participation.
Organising a reunion when nobody lives in the same place any more
Reunions fail at the date, not at the venue. The order to decide things in, the number of people who will actually come, and the one job to hand to somebody else.
Wishlists: giving ideas without spoiling the surprise
A wishlist that names a product turns a gift into a transaction. One that names a direction makes every gift better. The difference is how you ask.
How to run a book swap: Secret Santa, but with books
A book swap is the cheapest gift exchange there is and the one people remember longest. The four rules that make it work, and the one that decides whether it is any good.
A family gift exchange that works across three generations
Grandparents, parents and children do not want the same thing from a draw. Here is how to run one exchange that suits all three without turning into a compromise nobody enjoys.
A New Year gift draw: why January beats December
The same exchange, moved three weeks later, gets better gifts for less money and more attention. Here is what changes when you draw names for January instead of Christmas.
A leaving gift without the email chain
Collections for a departing colleague are the worst-organised thing in most offices. Here is why, and what to do instead — including when a draw is the wrong tool.
Couples, flatmates, pairs: getting exclusions right
Exclusions are the one setting that decides whether a draw is enjoyable or awkward. Which pairs to mark, which to leave alone, and when too many make the draw impossible.
The golden rules of a gift exchange that actually works
Seven rules, all of them decided before the draw. Every group that has had a bad exchange broke one of them, and usually the same one.
Organising a gift exchange between friends, step by step
The whole thing takes an evening of decisions and three minutes of setup. Here is the order that stops the group chat from eating the idea alive.
Eight occasions for a gift draw that have nothing to do with Christmas
Drawing names solves a problem that is not seasonal: a group wants to exchange gifts without anyone spending eight times over. Here is where else it works.